


It Was The Living

by PunkyIggy



Category: Fear the Walking Dead (TV)
Genre: M/M, MY SONS, My First Work in This Fandom, Oneshot
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-29
Updated: 2018-04-29
Packaged: 2019-04-29 19:15:46
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,434
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14479371
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PunkyIggy/pseuds/PunkyIggy
Summary: Suddenly Nick could no longer hear the dead. All he could focus on was the sea green eyes before him, and the hand pulling his between them.“It wasn’t the dead that killed me, Nick.”The Vultures were right. They came and they warned them of their future, but Madison didn't listen. They waited outside their walls until the last crop in Nick’s farm died. They ate their stolen goods while Nick and his friends starved. They watched when a member of their community- family, turned because he was so desperate he’d taken his chances with the rotten fruit. The Vultures entered their home and collected the walkers as fragments of Nick’s family ran from the chaos.[Set before 4x03]





	It Was The Living

“Nick!” 

The shout pulled Nick from the recess of his mind. His eyes focused as the chorus of deceased moans filtered back into his senses. Quickly, he locked eyes with Alicia to avoid looking at any of the corpses surrounding them. A bridge lay between him and his sister, and filling that bridge were rancid cadavers. 

The Vultures were right. They came and they warned them of their future, but Madison didn't listen. They waited outside their walls until the last crop in Nick’s farm died. They ate their stolen goods while Nick and his friends starved. They watched when a member of their community-  _ family _ , turned because he was so desperate he’d taken his chances with the rotten fruit. The Vultures entered their home and collected the walkers as fragments of Nick’s family ran from the chaos.

Nick now stood on the roof of a van alone, his previous passenger somewhere among the corpses surrounding him. Over the sea of the dead were three other cars, smaller, but safe. Alicia, his mother, Strand, and four others stood on their cars. They were together while Nick was isolated. A stretch of death separating them.

His family were split while escaping the falling ballpark they'd called home. Nick never got a clear view of where Luciana had gone, only knew that she had gotten out and was with Naomi. 

“Nick! You need to get to us!” Madison called, Nick barely hearing over the moans and his own heartbeat. He registered the words slowly. He would have to grab a body, coat himself, then walk between- Nick shook his head and raised his hands.

“Can't..” Nick muttered to himself, tugging on his hair. He looked down from his family and into the eyes of a walker. Nick stumbled back from the clamping jaws and fell on the roof. Across the herd, one of their group shook his head.

“This isn't going to work.” He hung his head and Madison looked sharply to him.

“What isn't going to work?” 

The man turned to Madison, apprehensive. “Look, I know the kid’s your son, but he’ll never cross that herd. Poor things terrified of them.”

Alicia flinched at the truth. Nick hadn't been the same since she and their mother found him after the dam blew. Where once his eyes had held wonder for the dead, now only held cold fear for the returning gaze. Nick had never told her what had happened to him in those lost hours, and she doubted he told their mother. Their relationship was strained at best, the love still there just fragile. 

“We have to leave him.”

“No.”

Alicia turned to look at her mother now. Madison’s eyes were to the horizon where Nick lay on the roof.

“He’s strong. He’ll do it.”

Herold, the man, scoffed. Alicia knew he hadn't meant to be rude, only stressed from the increasing number of the dead around them.

“Madison, our time is running low. More and more of these critters are piling in.” He was right, Alicia noted. The dead were being attracted by the noise of themselves. “I love Nick, honest, but if we stay to wait for him then we’ll all die.” 

The rest of the group looked to Madison for her response. Strand looked sorrowfully to the ground, understanding where Harold was coming from.

“We wait. Just two minutes.”

Strand looked up at this, “Madison-”

“We wait.” Softly, she added, “Please.”

Strand silenced himself and looked back over the herd to where Nick was still laying. He hadn't risen yet. He laid perfectly still on his back, staring at the sky. 

 

Nick watched the clouds pass. If he concentrated hard enough, (or was it not enough?) he could convince himself the guttural groans of the dead were just engines that needed a thorough cleaning. If he closed his eyes he could almost convince himself he smelt barbecue, even if it was just the mixed stench of petrol and death. He decided if he could lay here and convince himself the world was alright, he would be okay.

“Nicky?” 

A shadow covered the light above Nick and he cracked open his eyes. When had he closed them? He shot into a sitting position. Ahead, the three cars across the sea were being abandoned. One by one his friends and family were coating themselves in the dead. 

“They’re gonna leave you, Nick.” 

Startled, Nick looked to his side. He had quickly forgotten the source of his awakening. Beside him on the car roof stood Troy. Nick blinked hard and looked back down. 

“No no no. Eyes back up here son.” Troy’s voice teased. 

Nick compiled and looked up to his dead friend. He had been sober for what he thought was four months. He had never had a hallucination when he wasn't out of his mind, but maybe the terror filled conditions of his current predicament forced his brain to show him what he really needed.

_ A friend _ .

Troy took a second to look at their surroundings before whistling.

“You really got yourself into some fucked up shit man.” Troy looked at him again, hands on his hips as he played captain obvious.

Nick snorted, for a hallucination Troy appeared very real. Real up to the spider-web like scar that covered a portion of Troy’s face. 

Troy followed Nick’s gaze and went to answered the unasked question. 

“Work accident. You don't wanna know the details. Hammer won.” Troy hummed. 

Nick stared in disbelief.

Troy snapped a finger at the corner of his vision. Barely in the faint light Nick could see his left eye was glassy and clouded compared to the other.

“Blind as Helen fucking Keller in this eye.” He flashed a lopsided smile and dropped his hand. Nick assumed the response from the dead was caused by something else, and not Troy’s snapping. He was a hallucination, Nick reasoned with himself. He had watched Troy die, he had left him to die. He gulped before looking around at the dead.

“How..?” Nick began, only to be cut off by Troy.

“How did I get up here? Good question.” Troy sat beside him. “The same way you’re getting out.”

Nick only now realized the thick mat of blood coating his friend. Troy cocked his head in confusion when Nick shook his head.

“Do I have to spell it out for you?” Troy swung one arm out behind him, the other on his hip. “The dead, Nick. You’re one of them after all.”

Nick shook his head more, not willing to meet Troy’s eyes. He couldn't convince himself to face his friend in death as well, it seemed, even if he was fake.

“Not anymore Troy- the dead. They’re not me, I can't-”

Troy interrupted him with a scoff, “Sure you can! You taught me how.” The undead boy leaned down to Nick, searching for his eyes. “You can't tell me you’re scared now, Nicky?”

“You don't understand.” Nick finally met Troy’s eyes.

Troy stayed quiet, waiting for him to elaborate.

“Since you died-”

Troy scoffed. Wrong answer, Nick assumed. The hallucination kneeled down, and suddenly Nick could no longer hear the dead. All he could focus on was the sea green eyes before him, and the hand pulling his between them.

“It wasn’t the dead that killed me, Nick.”

Nick released a breath he didn't know he was holding.

Nick looked down at his and Troy’s hands. His hands were firm and warm around him.

“Are you real?” He asked finally, barely above a whisper. The moans of the walkers faded out.

“As real as you want me to be.”  _ Need me to be. _

 

Picking a walker wasn't hard. 

There was a lame girl near the hood of the car. She was small and rotten, but not to the point where it would be difficult to coat himself. Troy stood out of the way of Nick, hanging near the back of the roof. Nick looked to him for confirmation as he fidgeted with the knife in his hand. Troy nodded and Nick looked back at the walker. 

 “Mom!” Alicia called out in disbelief. 

Madison quickly pulled her blade out of a walker’s head and looked to her daughter. Alicia, Strand, and herself were the last people on the cars. Strand was knees deep in a cadaver, while Madison had picked a fresh one for her and Alicia to share. Alicia pointed forward.

“Nick.”

Madison looked to her son.

Nick had his knife in the head of a walker and was dragging its limp body onto the car. Relief washed over Madison and her mouth quirked slightly.

“He’s doing it.” Alicia said softly, a smile gracing her. 

Strand squinted and looked across to the car.

“Good on you, Nick.” He proudly said to himself.

 

Nick awkwardly maneuvered the body onto the roof. Troy watched as Nick hesitated over the stomach. Troy tilted his head when their eyes met, and Nick dipped his head. 

Cutting into the flesh felt different this time, yet all the same as before. There was the same sound, the same smell, and the same gratification. But there was a heavier feeling when he did it, like riding a bike after falling. Apprehension, almost. When he had cut to the end he laid his knife to the side and fell to his knees. The black blood was stagnant inside the corpse, the organs liquified. Sensing the hesitation, Troy piped up.

“C’mon Nicky, your family’s waiting.” 

Nick looked to him before looking across the herd. Sure enough, his mother, sister, and Strand stood watching. Waiting, coated in blood. Nick took a steady breath and looked down the open stomach again. Shakily, he reached inside and pulled the sickly concoction out. Troy smirked.

“There you are, that’s it.”

Nick cautiously smeared his hands over him, occasionally going back for more. His face was contorted in a grimace, but lessened with the more he put on. The moans of the dead quieted slightly, and the sun began to fall behind the tree line. Troy looked to the horizon, covering his eye.

“You’re losing daylight.”

Nick felt a spark inside him at that. He hadn't felt a reaction like that in a long time. The push to do something, something preferably risky, and quickly.

He finished himself off with an intestinal necklace and stood, staring Troy defiantly in the eye. Troy smirked again, eyes raking him.

“Suits you, good to see you back in old clothing.”

Nick huffed and rolled his eyes. He felt like a final piece in a puzzle. They both turned to look at the walkers.

“Now what?” Nick asked.

Troy hummed, “You just gotta get down now.”

“I know that,” Nick snorted. “It’ll be difficult ‘cause they’ll notice me sliding in from the car.” 

“Hmm, how problematic.” Troy mused. Nick groaned. 

“You’re no help.”

Troy grinned proudly and Nick turned from him. The boy scanned the herd for answers when an odd noise behind called his attention. Troy slid awkwardly down the side of the car and slotted himself between the dead. Cautiously, he turned to Nick, exchanging a “Ta-da!” look. Nick stared as Troy shuffled away awkwardly through the dead and disappeared. Quickly as to not lose him, Nick followed suit and slid down the car side tentatively. 

Nick held his breath when he touched the pavement, the dead paid him no attention. Smoothly, he began to move to where Troy had disappeared. The sun had set by now, leaving him in almost darkness. The dead moved in droves around him, aimlessly wandering like a crowd of high fools at the end of a concert. Nick barely noticed he was halfway over to the rendezvous point with his group when a dead man stood in his path. 

The walker was an older man, freshly turned. It was the man he had been traveling with in the car. He couldn’t get on the roof in time and he was taken. The cadaver wandered before Nick, faces inches apart yet Nick felt no breath.

_ Stare at the spaces between atoms. _

Nick’s vision clouded, and he cleared his mind. The groans around him and before him became familiar. His anxiety lessened as his soul felt that spark turn into a fire. Home, he was home. Sure he had lost sense of it for a while, but his soul was a wanderer, destined to always wander home.

Nick inwardly groaned back at the cadaver centimeters from his face. The creature groaned back a blessing, accepting Nick back into the family before moving on.

_ I am the walking dead _ .

Nick moved effortlessly through the sea, passing his mother and Alicia on the cars. Strand had slipped into the herd and began making his way to the collection point as well. 

Nick kept his eyes still but looked for any hint of where Troy had gone. He knew he was a hallucination, but he had hoped- Nick looked up and saw members of his group climbing onto the roof of a building. Currently Strand was cautiously making his way up the ladder. Nick turned his head away and scanned the road ahead. He was barely able to see in the darkness, but he could see the dead for miles. Of course a mega herd would pass through while they were vulnerable, just their luck. 

Nick made his way to the ladder once Strand had been clear for a while. Behind him, he felt Alicia’s presence and not  _ his _ . Nick sighed and began the climb.

Hands reached from the roof and pulled him up. Nick moved to the side and the same hands pulled Alicia then Madison up. He took a quick look around the roof. 

Their group had made it to the roof safely, except for the passenger in Nick’s car. Troy was nowhere to be seen.  _ Expected _ , Nick thought to himself. Even if Troy had been a hallucination - a damn good one at that - his late friend had saved his life yet again. Even in death, Nick would be unable to repay him. Nick stood at the edge of the roof and looked over at the crowds of dead.

They lost their community, and they lost people, but they still had eachother. The people around him were alive, and those in death were never truly gone. Nick looked over his shoulder at Alicia who stared up at the moon, exhausted. 

Nick knew he lived for the living. The only reason he wasn't dead was because his family lived, and he needed to protect them. And if death couldn't stop Troy, it wouldn't stop him either. 

**Author's Note:**

> Was Troy was really there? :)


End file.
